#047 The Art of Brokering Reconciliation

This episode explores the art of this ceremonial necessity of Reconciliation - and how it is possible only if it is mutual, but that we can lead with the invitation.

In a second of a 4 part series on ending cycles, and the ceremonies of closure and processing we need to observe to allow ourselves to fully move forward.

Reconciliation is not about trading forgiveness, it is about Understanding. It's about acknowledging our past actions and working through the consequences they have had on our relationships. It requires courage to recognize our own failings and willingness to improve upon them. It is not an act performed in solitude, but rather, a willing dance between two, stepping in rhythm with one another.

We never get taught the art of reconciliation. It is an art, and its canvas and easel are acknowledgement of the human experience of the other, and an acceptance of the necessary relationship between boundaries and healing, and of the appreciation of relative perspective.

My Friend

My friend. 

I do not ask you for forgiveness, 

nor for an apology. 

In that currency, 

let there be no fare

between us. 

I do not want for forgiveness, 

for I must forgive myself.

Do not ask me for forgiveness;

it was our great mistake 

to believe it is another’s to give.

I will tell you what it is that I want,

what my heart truly desires,

it is reconciliation;

between me and the all, 

and also between all things with each Other.

And I see fit to begin here, 

between you and I.

To be reconciled, 

we would earn and give the blessing

of being seen more fully

and thereby understood. 

Being that it always was 

ever and only ignorance

and pain

that lead us to the first wounding 

and the first spite.

And I would know 

that you are no longer ignorant, 

because I feel that I am not.

I have learned firstly 

that we are not always right, 

and that even when we are, 

we are not always kind.

And secondly, 

that good walls make good neighbors,

but the boundary needs careful mending

from both sides.

And I would make a stile 

between your fields

and mine

and with you, 

share its keep.

And I would know,

that you, by grace,

learned how to hold the pain 

you were given to carry, 

or perhaps 

how to let it go.

Because i know that I have.

And most of all,

there are treasures and keys 

and secrets and rare signs

and gems of humour 

that of all the people on this wide earth, 

I can only share with you.

© Rocco Jarman , March 2023